Funniest Shit I've seen in awhile

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Karma's a bitch!

Things that I'm thankful for....

Amazing people in my life. I woke up this morning to the following email in my inbox from one of my best guy friends...

"I love you more than you'll ever know. I'm so sorry for the ride home I never planned to drive home. I miss you Emily, so much. I'm glad I at least got a few minutes w/ you. You're my heart."

First of all, it just made me smile. That, along with last night him giving me the best compliment I think a person can hear...'You are one of the few people in my life that makes me truly happy' made me realize how fortunate I am to have him, along with so many other amazing friends and family in my life.

When bad things happen, and people aren't who they originally seem to be, it can be extremely easy to dwell on the negative. However this trip home has made me change my perspective from looking at all of the negative, and just realizing how truly lucky I am to have so many loyal and wonderful people in my life.

Happy Thanksgiving! :)

New Years Post from 2007

As usual, I was going through my old emails, postings, etc. and I found the note that I wrote at the end of 2007. Now anyone who knew me during 2007 knew that I went through a hell of a time. I moved from Boston to Florida to San Francisco. I had multiple jobs and went through the entire spectrum of emotions that I am capable of feeling: From complete and total rock bottom devastation to indescribable ecstasy (not in the creepy way). Anyway, I re-read the note and felt compelled to share cause it is one of the few things that I have ever written that I am really proud of and when I read it, it reminds me of how far I've come, all I have to be grateful for and how bad things were at one point. I would equate how I felt when I wrote it to being someone who is blindfolded trying to make their way through a maze, and at the end of the maze taking the blind fold off and seeing everything they just went through completely clearly. There is something very zen about the whole thing that I really enjoy. Anyway...

So there goes 2007 and I can't help but think about everything I've lost, learned, felt, experienced, and accomplished. I learned a lot more about life and myself this year than ever before. It is true that you don't know your true strength until you are forced to put it to the test, and I now know that I can handle far more than I ever thought I was capable of.

It's been a whirlwind of a year. Four different jobs, three different states, two major moves across the country later, I look back at the people that have come and gone in my life this year. There have been some major surprises, some were beyond amazing and some were devastatingly crushing. It's been the year of my highest highs and lowest lows. I've built new fantastic friendships and lost some people as well. I've been more betrayed than I ever have before in my life and I've also had the best thing that has ever happened to me come as a result of that.

Different states. Different states of mind. Changing jobs. Changing addresses. Changing friends. Changing lives and just changing. I'm constantly changing.

This year taught me I have a lot more to be thankful for than I ever realized before. My extremely supportive family, my friends that were there for me when I was at my own personal rock bottom…My blessings have been countless and I have become more of the person I really want to be, and it feels good. So much has happened this year, and I am so grateful for it all.

Thank you, 2007 for making me who I am. So here's to 2008 and all of the surprises, experiences, and lessons to come…I'm ready! :)

Hot Mess

So there is no feeling quite like learning about the events of your previous weekend through pictures posted on the internet. Due to the fact that last weekend, I apparently thought that I was a 300lb man and drank accordingly, I was able to experience this feeling first hand.

I woke up on Saturday morning after 'time traveling' a.k.a. blacking out and immediately texted my friend Priscilla to ask her to recap the events of the night. She was able to fill me in with some of the details but she had done her own fair share of time traveling as well and wasn't that much of a help. I said that I wished we had a camera following us around so we knew what we did, and then we agreed that in the future we would try to alternate our black outs so the next day we would be able to piece together the previous nights festivities.

Well fast forward a week and wish granted...

Priscilla texts me to let me know that the band we had gone to see had posted pictures that we were in on their website. Now I don't remember going to this particular bar in the first place, much less any behavior I might have been exhibiting there, so my immediate reaction was one of sheer terror. Priscilla emailed me the first a few pictures. Curiously in one of the pictures she sent to me, I appeared to have my arm around an unidentified young mans shoulder. I sent her a message.

"Uhh, did I make out with that guy that I'm in the picture with?"

"Yes!"

"I have no recollection of that. You didn't feel compelled to mention this to me before?"

Obviously after learning this new piece of information, I went on the website to try to find a picture of the guys face to see how thick my beer goggles were. Though I was unsuccessful in finding any picture that actually identified my suitor, I did stumble across one where we were mid-face suck in the back of it. Due to the nature of this whole debacle, i have temporarily given myself the nickname "Whorey McJustaskingforacoldsore".

I'd like to say I've learned my lessons but, hey, lets be serious, its Friday, I'm going to happy hour and I am incapable of learning my lessons the first time. And life is a lot more interesting because of it.

The best love letter I've ever gotten...

Living in a city where finding a decent guy is about as difficult as performing brain surgery...while high...in the dark, I find that I have a tendency to lower the bar that I set for men. It has less to do with wanting to meet a lower caliber of a guy and more to do with my incessant fear of that whole 'dying alone' thing. When the guys in this city continue to miss the exceptionally low bar that I have set for them, it is easy to get discouraged. After many a disastrous first date, I have come home frustrated, sworn myself to a life of celibacy and started to search online for my first cat.

However recently I was looking through old emails and I found something that for the first time gave me hope. This was a love letter from a guy that I went to high school with and stayed in touch with throughout college and after. Nothing did ever happen with him, which I regret, (especially considering my recent escapades with a guy who vomited in my bed, on my wall and on my floor on his 30th birthday. Oh yeah, 30 really is IS the new 20...) but going back and reading it does give me some hope that great guys do exist, and if I just keep my chin (and my standards) high, there may be some hope for us women after all...Enjoy!

Emily,

Your smile melts my heart. Just hearing your voices is like listening to angels sing. Your laughter is indescribable, while your eyes are deeper than the most beautiful sunset. Your skin glistens like the sea on a sunny afternoon. Your dark brown hair flows like the Nile, while your fragrance is as pleasant as a garden full of the finest roses. Your knowledge will take ages to fathom. Just being in your presence alone could bring a giant to his knees. Your lips must taste like the finest wines. Your love could enlighten the dullest day. If I ever drempt of you, arising would not be an option. I would stay in my dream forever. Your beauty and knowledge go hand in hand, they are both timeless.

Cause somedays I'm 5...

www.ThingsIdidlastnight.com

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