A few spectacular articles from the fine folks at Cracked.com

The ten creepiest Craigslist Casual Encounters

25 Secret Perks of Working at Google

30 Error Messages you NEVER want to see

My Brothers Blog Post

I wanted to include a copy of my brothers post. He recently started to blog and his blog is available to view at hardabs05.blogspot.com. Although the views represented in his blog in no way represent the views of my blog or anyone affiliated with my blog, I still think its pretty freakin' funny...Enjoy!

Getting Served by The Homeless

Ok, let me just start by saying I have no problem with most homeless people. I feel like a lot of them are just regular people who happened to catch a bad break or just smoke too much crack. With that being said, over the past two years I have lived in a neighborhood where asking residents for money has become more popular than catholic priests touching boys. Now, at first I felt the urge to spare a dollar or two when I had a spare on me. Although kind this quickly turned into a recipe for disaster. A hobo I use to give a dollar to here and there caught up with me one night as I was stumbling home from a local bar. "Ey man, Let me get a dollar!" the bum barks at me. Slightly inebriated with more than enough McDonalds to spare I told him I was out of cash and offered him one of the four Big Mac’s I had previously purchased. "I guess" the derelict says with rolled eyes. I give him the tasty sandwich and we part ways. I continue down the road feeling the delight from my random act of kindness interrupted by the force of a Big Mac lobbed at the back of my head like a Roger Clemens fastball. This followed by the phrase "F'I wanting McDonalds I would have bought it myself!". This led me to the conclusion he did not want money for food like he had previously led me to believe.

If you are homeless and need money for drugs just be honest about it. There is something that takes a person back when hearing the truth from a streetwalker and adds a sense of reality to a bum’s situation. If you say something like “you’re a single parent whose car broke down and you need money to fix the car so you can get your 3 month old baby in the car insulin for her diabetes” (actually heard this one- wasn’t true) in my head this translates into what kind of fucking dip shit dad leaves his baby with diabetes, in need of medical attention, alone in a hot broke down car while he goes to pan for money. Now, if I am told that you are addicted to PCP and you need money in order to pay your drug dealer so he won’t shank you at the Greyhound Station later that is more believable and I will kindly offer you money for your troubles. People like being told the truth and that’s all there is too it.

Continuing on, during a later incident my roommates and I are moving out of our place towards another poverty rich sanctuary. We take all of the items we don’t need and place them on a curb outside in thoughts that this would be far more beneficial to the homeless than that bullshit Goodwill has ever been. We then proceed to sit back and watch the show. It was a treat. I witnessed a bum move one of our discarded suit jackets in order to work his was to through the pile of junk to a half empty 7-month-old bottle of wine that he happily chugged to the last drop. Isn’t that ironic. Don’t you think?

Next, a man picked at our leftover shit for over an hour until he eventually developed the audacity to come up to the house (wreaking of hooker spit) and ask if we have anything better? Apparently are stuff wasn’t good enough for the standard of living he set forth for himself on the streets. He felt that based on the looks of our inferior income bracket he would search his options for something better. Basically, we “got served” by a homeless dude. I hope that hobo eventually found what he was looking for…or died of AIDS.


Anyways overtime I have developed a theory of how to wart of the homeless attempts of making easy cash. It is my belief that no one enjoys the bothersome nuisance of being asked for money. Since this is the case, upon making eye contact with homeless personnel on the street quickly dart up to them and ask for a dollar. They will be so taken back by this approach that by the time they realized what happened you will be miles down the road without feeling an ounce of remorse for the bum you snuffed. Try this it has worked wonders for me and will hopefully do the same for you.